They began to mumble at each other. At first, it sounded friendly enough. But of course, with their feet halfway down their throats, and drowsy as they were, a lot of what they said was unintelligible or sounded plain silly.
Here’s what was pieced together by forensic experts from their recorded conversations:
1. Joe B. and Sarah P. both claimed to have new jobs working for a man named Mr. On Time.
2. Joe B. said this was impossible. He and Sarah P. were total strangers. He’d been in Crazyrotten Town for a long time, and his Mr. On Time just blew in and gave him a job as second in command. His Mr. On Time was going to be the new sheriff of Crazyrotten Town, because he could fix everything that was broken in the entire world just by thinking really hard and speaking magic, hypnotic words.
3. Sarah P. politely but firmly replied that she was second in command to the real Mr. On Time, who’d been in Crazyrotten Town for almost 30 years. Her Mr. On Time was going to be the new sheriff, because he already knew how to fix everything in the entire world by standing up against the wind, scowling, and just scaring the problems away. In fact, her Mr. On Time didn’t have to think at all--it was all second nature to him by now.
4. Joe B. said, joking, that he knew her Mr. On Time well, and she was mistaken. Her boss’s real name was Mr. Too Late: after fighting the wind for 30 years, he was acting pretty old and tired, and should have run for sheriff four years ago.
5. Sarah P. didn’t think the joke was funny, and her grunts became more heated. She said Joe B. didn’t know what he was talking about: her Mr. On Time actually went with the wind at least 90% of the time, so he had plenty of energy left. Then she said that Joe B.’s boss was all talk, and was too new to Crazyrotten Town to really know how to fix anything—his real name was Mr. Too Soon.
6. Joe B. said well, even if her boss did have something new to offer Crazyrotten Town, he was still Mr. Too Late, because most people wanted his Mr. On Time to be sheriff.
7. Sarah P. said Joe B. had it wrong again. Even if more people wanted Joe’s boss at first, now about the same amount of people want her boss to be sheriff. She joked that Joe’s boss was Mr. Too Soon two different ways, because he was an empty suit and also peaked too soon.
8. Joe B. didnt like her jokes either. He become so angry, he nearly spit out his feet.
9. They growled at each other loudly, angrily, incessantly.
10. The hospital staff tried to intervene and restrain them both, but the staff ended up arguing among themselves, taking sides about who was the real Mr. On Time. But after what seemed like forever, they all agreed they couldn’t stand the noise anymore, and didn’t know who to believe. They negotiated with each other right then and there--without preconditions--and came to a peaceful solution: they agreed to postpone the surgery indefinitely, put Sarah P. and Joe B. into a deep sleep, and moved them to separate, soundproof rooms.
P.S. We posted this before we read the latest embarassment from Sarah P., reported at http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/29/campaign.wrap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview:
Palin accuses Obama of ties to second 'radical professor'
Gov. Sarah Palin on Wednesday said Sen. Barack Obama has ties to a Columbia University professor who she said is "a former spokesperson for the Palestinian Liberation Organization."
Not "had", "has"--but then she uses the past tense:
"It seems that there is yet another radical professor from the neighborhood who spent a lot of time with Barack Obama going back several years," Palin said at an event in Bowling Green, Ohio.
Here's her "proof" that she's "calling him out on his record":
In April, the Los Angeles Times published an article about a going-away dinner for Khalidi that Obama attended in Chicago, Illinois, in 2003. Khalidi was leaving to become a professor at Columbia. The paper reported that a young Palestinian-American woman recited a poem at the farewell party that accused the Israeli government of terrorism for its treatment of Palestinians and was highly critical of U.S. support of Israel.
Oy...by the way, Obama also palled around with the conservatives while at Harvard.
Look, we know both sides are full of it, but everytime we try to look at this thing in some balanced, rational way, and listen to and weigh what the GOP has to say, another burning bag of flaming turd shows up on the front porch.
Like we've said before, he's John McCain and he approved this message.
P.P.S. Comedy Central "stole" our lines again....last night, Steven Colbert used the "flaming turd" reference when talking about the Rebublican campaign.
No comments:
Post a Comment